revenance_comms | Message 11: Can't Be Alone [Private to Ziva; Audio]

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Message 11: Can't Be Alone [Private to Ziva; Audio]

[There's a long silence and a sigh before he begins. He really should've written down what he wanted to say; it's too late for that now.]

Ziva, we- we should talk. I-

[There's a moment as he realizes just how bad that sounds.] -shit, no, not like that. Not-

Look, York's- he woke up, and I-

[There's another long pause, and then a sigh.] You know what? Forget it. [The message cuts off abruptly.]

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You think saying 'forget it' is going to make me do that? Not really.

[She sighs.]

Where are you? I will come find you.

[Someone may not be responding. Someone may be trying to forget that this post exists.]

[Assuming she's spent some time with Carolina, she doesn't 'understand' but 'gets' (kinda, but not really) what Wash is probably going through. There's an audible sigh when the recording starts.]

I am coming to find you... I am great at hide and seek.

[And having a Bloodhound!Bat helps. When the recording stops, she turns to Fluffy and just tells him to 'Find Fang', following him with Gibbs. Soon, there's a familiar bat in your window, Wash, and a tap on the door.]

[Wash has spent his time somewhat productively - moving his stuff out of the room he and York shared and into the room he and Ziva shared, getting rid o most of the assorted junk York had collected, and giving the room keys back to the Moogle. There was always a chance that York might come back; given the exact point in time that he had been pulled from, Wash wasn't counting on it.

He'd at least taken the time to find York's Spirits - Melody and Fang knew them well enough to be able to track them down. Max and Sparky had curled up with each other on the bed; Bouncer was currently nowhere to be seen. That accomplished, and not wanting to do anything else, Wash had shed his armor, pulled on sweats, and curled up on the bed himself. He couldn't sleep. He was alone with his thoughts. It wasn't a good situation, and yet here he was. Melody and Fang had curled up with him, trying to offer some measure of comfort - they knew their person was grieving, and thanks to Sparky and Max, they knew why.

When Fluffy appeared, Fang flew to the closed window, squeaking at it. Hey! Hey you found them! Oh good, his person really needs your person right now! Melody realized fairly quickly what was happening and rocketed off the bed, reaching the door just as the knock sounded. She pawed at it, meowing loudly and insistently. We're in here! Open the door! You have a key, right?

Wash just closed his eyes, not bothering to see what his Spirits were excited about. He didn't want to deal with it right now.]

Quit that.

[Ziva stood outside the door, waiting for him to answer, but just hearing Melody meowing at it from the other side. Checking her pockets, she realized that she had left her key back at Carolina's, probably tucked in her bag somewhere. She sighed before digging in her pockets again, pulling out her lockpick.]

This, but no key. Smart.

[And she then uses it to pick the lock. Hearing it click, she turns the knob enough to start opening the door, before looking at Gibbs, dismissing him and having Ducky follow her into the room. She noticed Wash lying on the bed as she walked to the window to let Fluffy in, toeing off her shoes next to his armor, tossing her jacket on top of the pile.

Walking over to the bed, she grabbed the blankets and crawled in next to Wash, wrapping her arm around his waist, curling up against him. She doesn't say anything, she'll wait for him to talk.]

[His eyes snapped open when he heard the lock rattle. That wasn't a key- that was the sound of someone picking a lock- it couldn't be-

And then he caught sight of Fluffy outside the window. He winced hard, trying to bite back the jumble of emotions that the sudden reappearance of hope and the even more sudden destruction of said hope had created. It was Ziva at the door, not York. He was an idiot to hope, even for those few seconds.

He's still trying his hardest to calm himself down when the sheets rustle and a warm body scoots in next to him. They fit together too well for him to make any mistake. He makes a quiet, strangled noise into the pillow. Nope - still not helping. After a long silence, he shifted just enough to lay his hand over hers. When he finally speaks, his voice is quiet.]

I thought you were him.

Sorry.

[And she was too. Thinking about it, she could figure out why he did...considering York had been the lock expert, from what she had put together. She moves her hand just enough to be holding his, before speaking again.]

I know this does not help, but if I could bring him back, I would.

Not your fault.

[It wasn't, really. Blaming her wouldn't calm him down any; then again, right now, very little would. He squeezes her hand, just a little bit.]

I know.

[Just about anyone here would, not that it makes a difference.]

[She knows, it just seems to be the right thing to say. She can't come up with anything else to say, so she curls up closer and rests her forehead against his chest. Ducky curls up behind her knees, peering over her legs at Wash for a moment. He doesn't like when any of the people around his person are sad.]

[She can probably hear his breathing, measured and even - forcibly so. It was about the only thing he'd allow himself to focus on right now. He was trying not to think about York - after all, he knew exactly where - or when - York had fallen asleep. He'd wake up, and then he'd die.]

[Wash was grieving again. He hadn't thought it possible, but here he was, doing just that - or rather, refusing to do it. He couldn't. It would dig up too much that he was trying to keep buried. He'd just have to bury that grief again, once he remembered how.]

[It was too easy to find comfort here. Ziva was next to him, North was down the hall, and his Spirits always wanted to cuddle regardless of his mood. He could always lean on them. Then again, he'd leaned on York too, and look where that had gotten him - prone, and trying to re-learn how to cope.]

[Damn it, he was so sick of this.]

[And then he caught sight of Ducky.]

[It was the flower with the face that did him in - namely the sympathy on that face. Even the flower wanted him to feel better- the flower that he'd gotten her.]

[Something inside him crumbled. He couldn't do it anymore - couldn't keep pushing people away. Couldn't keep burying things. What was the point in being miserable alone now when he knew he'd just be miserable alone later, after he woke up and they weren't there anymore? Might as well do what he could now - maybe then, later, he'd still be intact after everything was over.]

[Though he was going to fucking break if he woke up alone in the bed tomorrow. Again. He couldn't do that again. Not so soon.]

[But it was a risk he was going to take. He let go of Ziva's hand and wrapped his arm around her instead, holding her tightly, burying his face in her hair.]

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Message 11: Can't Be Alone [Private to Ziva; Audio]

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