(no subject)

[fromearth]

Okay, is this thing worki--yeah, it's... I'm in the frame? I... yeah. Right.

[The cowboy straightens, clears his throat, hooks his thumb in his belt, and gives the communicator his most calm and collected scowl. All a matter of looking like none of this bothers you, even when it's a hideous mess. Which this is looking like it is. Business as usual.]

All right, folks, this is Marshall Sparks Nevada, representative of the Mars-Earth coalition. I know this place likely ain't on either planet, but this whole business jumped up to the top of my priority list. Mostly on account've all my other business is in another dimension, so you know, whatever.

Point is, here, I'm gonna hafta ask all've you to provide a list of your name, your home planet... the planet you were last on, if'n those two ain't the same... what space-year you're from, and your dimensional zip code.

Reckon I may have a ways afore we're gettin' out of here proper, but more I can know about how far-spread a problem this is, the more appropriate charges can be put on the culprits for this nonsense once I wrap it all up.

Comments

[Video - still "Not Riku"]

[rampantfantasy]

I can't give you any of that on account of what you just said makes no sense.

[Well, and he doesn't have a name to give, yet. That's an issue, too.]

Unless by "home planet" you're talking about the worlds we came from.

[Which. Is also complicated in his circumstances.]

[video]

[juniorganymedian]

Good day, Marshall Nevada. My name is Jeeves. My apologies, but while the communications network is a most useful tool for arranging meetings, gathering large stores of information on it in one location about the persons just arrived here may not be wholly prudent. It is monitored by the enemy.

[grifshot]

Uh, Grif, Earth, Chorus....kinda lost track of what year it is and I don't know what the fuck a dimensional zip code is so I'm just gonna say banana.

[video]

[fromearth]

Well, this just is a plasma shot in the dark, but if they nabbed us from wherever we were, likely is they already knew this stuff already, and just 'cause they know how much trouble they're in don't mean we shouldn't.

[fromearth]

Eh. 'Tain't exactly complicated, kid. Name, date, place... not sure where you're gettin' tripped up, Mister... [Squints at window label] ...Not.

Far as "home planet"... I mean, yeah, if'n you wanna call it worlds, that's right. Unless you're referring to your dimensional origin. See that's, that's sort of why I used those particular words, seein' as they're a lot clearer than what you're sayin'.

[video]

[juniorganymedian]

['Plasma shot?' Jeeves raises a brow ever so slightly.]

It is unclear who is actually bringing us here, sir. Only that there is a person or persons on the network who occasionally make their presence known in as confrontational a manner as possible. They may simply be taking advantage of our unfortunate situation.

[fromearth]

[He'd been marking things down on a notepad until about halfway through. Then he just gives an unimpressed scowl.]

Yeah, fruit ain't the usual sort of identifier that's any type'a useful. Gimme a ballpark on year, at least.

[rampantfantasy]

[Dude you have no idea how complicated a little thing like a name can be.]

They're the same thing to everyone I know.

[fromearth]

[Sigh. Maybe some kinda underdeveloped planet with a less developed language than his.]

Fine, sure, whatever, what world're you from.

[rampantfantasy]

[Or just, you know, Kingdom Hearts.]

...I was born in Castle Oblivion, technically, but I'm more familiar with the Destiny Islands.

[SCHWEET DODGE.]

Not that it really matters, because pretty much everyone is from somewhere different.

[Did you think that no one thought to ask this before you or something, dude?]

[fromearth]

...Those are places, kid, not worlds.

Yeah, picked up on that, but "loads of places" ain't gonna do me much good when I write up the report, is it?

[rampantfantasy]

[The look you're getting is very much a "who's high and mighty now" look.]

Isn't Earth just a fancy way of saying "dirt"? That's what they're called.

[fromearth]

[Oh, would you look at how quick his face goes dark.]

Hey, let's clear up one thing right now, buckaroo. Earth's... the best.

Dunno what sort of whacked out shortsighted culture it takes to name a whole world after a landmark, maybe you can't tell a proper name when you hear one, Not Riku.

[fromearth]

Well, all the more reason to get 'em out here, I could use a proper confrontation right about now, get things settled right quick. Don't much take to all this data gatherin' if there's a more direct option available.

[rampantfantasy]

[Like this kid knows when to back down.]

Really? Because if it's full of jerks like you, it can't be too great.

[video]

[allpurposescarf]

The Doctor; home planet, Gallifrey; last planet visited... Zanax. Or Calufrax. It depends a little on how you want to actually count it. Year also depends on how you wanted it counted.


Oh, and which planet's coordinates?

[fromearth]

[He heaves a slow breath through his teeth.]

Naw, 's full of folks who have better things to do than bicker with uppity teenagers.

[rampantfantasy]

Right, whatever. Good luck getting back to your unremarkable dirt world.

[Click! Feed off.]

[fromearth]

[When The Doctor provides the most coherent answer yet, you know you've got it bad.]

Come on, Doc, I'm not tryin' to make this complicated. You had to be on one or the other when you popped in here. Or somewhere in between. I don't know. I'm working off the proper space-Earth calendar, here, just try and give me a ballpark and I'll try converting it best I can.

[fromearth]

[Kids.]

[unrecovered]

[Agent Washington, commander of the S. S. Notfuckingimpressed, checking in. No helmet this time, so his face is visible.]

Good job asking for private information on a monitored public network. Maybe you should leave the info gathering to people who've been here for more than an hour. It'll probably take about that long for it to sink in that your rules don't apply here.

[fromearth]

Not--not exactly private stuff, is it... Like, this is get-to-know-you-games stuff, really, so...

[Seriously, who spat in everyone's space sarsaparilla today.]

Yeah, right, the ways around here seem to be storming off from people trying to get a clear picture of what's going on here. Maybe it's just me, but that way don't seem particular helpful, so maybe I'll stick to my methods until someone can show me a proper improvement that don't involve throwin' a tantrum.

[unrecovered]

[He's rubbing his forehead with one hand. He's getting a headache over this guy.]

Did you look at the network at all before you did this? Because not even an hour ago I put up a post with information on this place and what to do if you have questions. Like find someone who's been here for a while and ask questions. Which is what I told you to do when I ran into you. Which you're still not doing.

[fromearth]

Nnno, see, that is what I'm doing, I'm asking questions. To people who have been here. Ain't the type of questions that one single person can answer for all the folk here, either, hence the asking for people to pitch in rather'n hunting down every single person on foot. Could do it, if'n I thought it was worth it, but I'm still failin' to see how asking for names and planetary origins is some type'a gross informational breach to warrant all the fuss you're making of it.

[juniorganymedian]

[Jeeves resists sighing. Likely people will already be responding to this, anyway. He can only hope a few have read his warning and take it to heart.]

There have been only two instances of the enemy appearing on the network, sir. It has been at their discretion rather than in response to any person. I suspect requesting their presence will simply motivate them to remain silent.

As for your questions, they may confuse those you ask them of. I am unfamiliar with the term 'dimensional ZIP code,' for instance. While whatever power here allows for fluid translation of words, it rarely provides context. I would hazard to guess that you are not referring to some Americanism for the flies on a gentleman's trousers, but I do not know what you are asking for otherwise.