Mark I - ||video||

[the_mechanic]

[There's a close-up view of a well-manicured goatee, though there's a bit of blood around the lips, and as he adjusts the camera, it's plain to see that the clearly-attractive man has definitely been in a fight recently. Put mildly. And also that he's wearing some kind of metal armor suit thing, with the face-mask open.

He opens his mouth to speak, then closes it again. Twice. This is not a man accustomed to being at a loss for words.]

Please tell me there's someone in this sparkly-rainbow-nightmare than can get a full sentence out, with minimal KUPO, that can tell me what the hell is going on?

...please?

[The camera pans out just enough to show the komory bat perched on the top of the man's head, chittering away happily. Tony swipes at him half-heartedly, as if they've been through this a few times already, and the bat makes no motion to vacate his vantage point.

Tony looks pleadingly into the camera, and with a deep sigh, cuts the feed.]

Comments

[fearmylaserface]

[Here, have a guy in armor like a few others that replied, only his is blue.] Dude, you seriously look like shit. What the hell happened to you?

I'm assuming you've heard the standard details. You're dreaming, which is still kind of bullshit seeing as I'm an AI. You can't choose to go home, though from personal experience... It can happen. I went home, and not by choice. Came back from a later point in time.

And if you have my luck, someone from home tries to murder you when you return. May want to be careful of the guy in blue and yellow armor like mine. He's an asshole. [Epsilon, holding a grudge? You better believe it. And there's a grumbling pricklemane in the background.]

[the_mechanic]

Survived my house getting blown into the ocean via some heavy artillery. Nothing major.

[Said deadpan. God, he's tired. And this is more social activity than he's had in weeks.]

Well that's an ugly detail no one else mentioned. Even if I get out, I can be dragged right back. Awesome.

[Tony lips quirk up at the last bit.]

Someone's always trying to kill me. [He shrugs, but it's weary.]

Thanks for the heads up. [Pretty good idea who he means.]

[fearmylaserface]

... Sucks to be you, man.

[Epsilon wishes he didn't have to break it to the guy.] Pretty much. This place is fucking bullshit.

The others with the armor aren't nearly as bad. Their AIs are my brothers. Wash is just an asshole.

[unrecovered]

[Oh my fucking God are you serious. Why can you not just leave him out of things?]

Remind me, Epsilon - how many times did I have to warn you to back off and leave me alone? And how many times did you ignore me?

[He knows exactly how many times - he's just making a point.]

[fearmylaserface]

Fuck off. You are not my boss, Wash.

[unrecovered]

No, I'm just the guy you keep accusing of attempted murder.

Though "attempted destruction of military property" would be more accurate.

[Oh, yes, he went there.]

Is there a reason you keep airing your dirty laundry to everyone you meet?

[fearmylaserface]

Don't even start asshole. Fuck you.

[And that would be Epsilon ending the call.]

[the_mechanic]

[Tony chuckles. It can definitely suck to be him, but the rest of the perks generally make up for it. He just shrugs, smiling just enough to show he's pretty much used to it, and alright with it. He lived. Pepper lived. And if he ever gets out of this nightmare, the guy who attacked him will not live.

Also, Tony is sensing kindred spirits, here. Assholes not-so Anonymous.]

Yeah, those guys seemed alright.

So, question, and if I'm prying, just tell me to fuck off, but when you say "brothers," what exactly do you mean by that?

[These AIs are starting to sound way beyond his own, and his are the peak of AI technology at home. He's definitely curious, put mildly.]

[fearmylaserface]

We came from the same source. I'm just in a robot instead of with a person, which I'm happier with.

The human I was assigned is an asshole. [Yes, he knows everyone sees this, Wash.]

[the_mechanic]

[Aaaaaand all the dots connect.]

Gotcha. Nifty. [Filing all that away to play with later.]

Yeah, we humans seem to have that tendency.

[Tony is definitely not exempt from asshole status. And okay, aside from calling dibs on his shit when he's not even CLOSE to dead, C'MON, Wash seemed alright. But. This guy seems alright, too, so he's not going to stir that pot.

Yet.]

This guy

[fearmylaserface]

I'm Epsilon. And I'm now filtering to keep him out of everything I say.

[Yes, Epsilon was more than a little pissed about the military equipment comment. He knows it's true, but still...]

Anything else you need answered?

/sob

[the_mechanic]

[Yeah, staying waaaaay out of those issues, because damn.]

Tony.

Actually, I think you've cleared up a lot for me already. I'll be in touch. [He smiles and does that man-nod thing.]

[fearmylaserface]

See you around then.