(no subject)

[fromearth]

Okay, is this thing worki--yeah, it's... I'm in the frame? I... yeah. Right.

[The cowboy straightens, clears his throat, hooks his thumb in his belt, and gives the communicator his most calm and collected scowl. All a matter of looking like none of this bothers you, even when it's a hideous mess. Which this is looking like it is. Business as usual.]

All right, folks, this is Marshall Sparks Nevada, representative of the Mars-Earth coalition. I know this place likely ain't on either planet, but this whole business jumped up to the top of my priority list. Mostly on account've all my other business is in another dimension, so you know, whatever.

Point is, here, I'm gonna hafta ask all've you to provide a list of your name, your home planet... the planet you were last on, if'n those two ain't the same... what space-year you're from, and your dimensional zip code.

Reckon I may have a ways afore we're gettin' out of here proper, but more I can know about how far-spread a problem this is, the more appropriate charges can be put on the culprits for this nonsense once I wrap it all up.

Comments

[video]

[fromearth]

Well, this just is a plasma shot in the dark, but if they nabbed us from wherever we were, likely is they already knew this stuff already, and just 'cause they know how much trouble they're in don't mean we shouldn't.

[video]

[juniorganymedian]

['Plasma shot?' Jeeves raises a brow ever so slightly.]

It is unclear who is actually bringing us here, sir. Only that there is a person or persons on the network who occasionally make their presence known in as confrontational a manner as possible. They may simply be taking advantage of our unfortunate situation.

[fromearth]

Well, all the more reason to get 'em out here, I could use a proper confrontation right about now, get things settled right quick. Don't much take to all this data gatherin' if there's a more direct option available.

[juniorganymedian]

[Jeeves resists sighing. Likely people will already be responding to this, anyway. He can only hope a few have read his warning and take it to heart.]

There have been only two instances of the enemy appearing on the network, sir. It has been at their discretion rather than in response to any person. I suspect requesting their presence will simply motivate them to remain silent.

As for your questions, they may confuse those you ask them of. I am unfamiliar with the term 'dimensional ZIP code,' for instance. While whatever power here allows for fluid translation of words, it rarely provides context. I would hazard to guess that you are not referring to some Americanism for the flies on a gentleman's trousers, but I do not know what you are asking for otherwise.

[fromearth]

So they maybe ain't the ones behind us bein' here, and only show up to gloat once'n a while. [Sparks does not resist sighing.] I think I know the type. I'll take my chances.

Yeah pants ain't... ain't involved. Would be super gross. Nah, it's the interdimensional zone improvement plan, giving the different dimensions a numeric system to keep track of who's from where. Designed for situations... pretty much exactly like this.

[juniorganymedian]

I regret, sir, that my time and place are not sufficiently technologically advanced to have developed such a system. I was unaware other dimensions existed apart from in theory until my arrival here. It has been a most fascinating experience, and a most humbling one.

I will simply have to extend my greetings and my caution once more, though Marshall Nevada. I do not have the information you have asked for.

[fromearth]

Well, still gives me an idea of the thing, so appreciated all the same. Warning's well noted, too, suppose I'll have to see what comes of it.